Not Existing

It would be his most intimate achievement. Something greater than he has ever given to anyone. To many, including her, it was at the very least meaningless; at most, a vile vendetta. The later was probably closer to the truth. Although he didn’t wish to hurt her, it was inevitable. Even the best of us find it difficult to maintain composure with blood and brain matter spraying across our face. He believed that this ultimate act of devotion would finally make her understand…it didn’t. But none of it mattered to him anymore. After all, he was dead. This insignificance was only rivaled by the effort put forth, by him, towards its execution. He would have to secure a firearm. This would be easy–he had no prior criminal record and resided in a red state. But no ordinary gun would do. No, for such a task it would need to be special. He had always wished to own and shoot a Luger Parabellum semi-automatic with an eight round magazine capacity. He would only need one round to finish the job. He waited for the gun to come in after placing an order. Fortunately, he was used to waiting…waiting for things that never came, but not this time. The package arrived and his local gun shop phoned to have him pick it up. What a beautiful piece, he thought. Almost a shame that it will probably never see the light of day again, locked away in an evidence locker. He rang her, she answered unenthusiastically, but politely “hi, how are you?” For the first time in a long while he said “I’m great.” He knew that she would never agree to meet if he used the old cliche of “we need to talk,” so instead, he told her he had found one of her diamond earrings. One of which he knew she had lost. When he finally saw her, his heart stopped.